Email inefficiency is probably a major contributor to the technology Stress that some of us experience. My business partner and I have often joked, sometimes seriously, about clever auto-responders to help filter the daily load. Here’s a couple of funny ones that I, ironically, got in a junk email:
1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. I may be a little moody so be prepared.
2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at all.
3. Sorry to have missed you, but I am at the doctor’s having my brain removed so I can be promoted to our management team.
4. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation on 4/18. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
5. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.
6. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.
( The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over.)
7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system.
You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.8. Hi, I’m thinking about what you’ve just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.
9. I’ve run away to join a different circus.
10. I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as ” Sharon ” instead of “Steve”.
Hilarious! Consider yourself Dugg.
Awesome stuff. Funny enough I needed an “Out of Office Reply”
Haha, absolutely hilarious. I definitely think number, 10 was by far the funniest of them all though. Still funny to read the others, nice blog by the way.
Thanks guys, I appreciate the Digg:)
“I’ve gone out of my mind. I’ll reply when I return to my senses.”
They’re brilliant… consider you’re suggestions copy-pasted
I like NUMBER 6……………………………….FUNNY
Yeah, that wasn’t a complete waste of my time now, was it?
“Hi
I will be out of the office Friday the 21st of November. If it is an emergency, take a deep breath and try to stay calm.”
Those are classic. I especially like the restart your computer one.
The first two are funny. The rest… aren’t…
at all
They are hilarious .. well done really.
Ok, good stuff right there. Should have used #3 at my old job, and #4 is really how it is most of the time.
Am I missing something? These aren’t funny at all. Not even a slight smile could be given to any of them. They are like Dilbert jokes, but 1000% worse than that. Really really bad. If someone at my work tried any of them I would literally never speak to them again, I’d be like “f*ck off you loser” and that would be the last thing I’ve ever said directly towards them. As the internet would say – “fail”.
Thank you for your time.
Yeah you are missing a good joke, were is your humour? kind of dumb to think these are to be used and not just to be seen as a good joke!
Haha. I love these. Hillarious
My best is to set up an “out of office” and then send it to another “out of office” account and let them bounce back and forth the whole holiday. That should teach them.
Reminds me of someone I knew who mystery shopped a competitor with a Hotmail account forwarding to their work account. All very well until they put their out of office assistant on not thinking it would affect the forwarded emails and went on holiday. It wasn’t the easiest first day back in the office for them.
very very funny. I just had to leave an auto responder on today, as I’m on holiday for two weeks. I WISH i could have left one of these!! Not really, because i LOVE my clients, but i did have a great laugh. Thanks, you made my morning, as i sip Kona Coffee, off the coast of Maui, watching the whales breach in Napili Bay!
Thanks for the positive feedback all. I think I may stop blogging about serious stuff now and just focus on finding funny email forwards! This is, by far, the most popular post on my blog.
I really enjoy it. Thanks, it’s good to laugh !
A little humour (nope, not a typo, I’m Cdn) goes a long way in this crazy world of work we often take far too seriously. I say bring on the laughs!
Ant, you shoulda stopped drinking coffee after your 15th cup man. Or maybe you are just mad because you rebooted your PC several times before you figured it out!
@Dave – I think that may be a plan, this is after all the first post I’ve read on your site…
Funny to think you got retweeted by Guy, on the basis of an email forward. Funny world we live in.
This is hilarious. Thanks for sharing Dave
Hilarious! I especially like #10. That had me on the floor rolling!
These OOTO replies remind me of the outtakes we did for our careers video: http://www.ingagenetworks.com/careers. Who knew corporate America could be so funny? 
(Be sure to scroll to the end.)
Couldn’t stop laughing–thanks for sharing! : )
Haha, stumbledupon this. Geeky humor rocks
After a rough week, this is absolutely priceless. I had a good laugh.
Thanks so much.
Simply Awesome. Thanks Dave!
Thanks for the great information. I hope to be back soon. I have book marked it keep posting. Thanks again.
Its fantastic & funny!
Awesome!!!!!
Loved the 3rd one!! brain being removed!!
hilarious!
lol.. simply funny
esply the first and the last one..
Jst awesome Dave! Loved the Management Team one…hahah