Email inefficiency is probably a major contributor to the technology Stress that some of us experience. My business partner and I have often joked, sometimes seriously, about clever auto-responders to help filter the daily load. Here’s a couple of funny ones that I, ironically, got in a junk email:
1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. I may be a little moody so be prepared.
2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at all.
3. Sorry to have missed you, but I am at the doctor’s having my brain removed so I can be promoted to our management team.
4. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation on 4/18. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
5. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.
6. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.
( The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over.)
7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system.
You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.8. Hi, I’m thinking about what you’ve just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.
9. I’ve run away to join a different circus.
10. I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as ” Sharon ” instead of “Steve”.
Hilarious! Consider yourself Dugg.
Awesome stuff. Funny enough I needed an “Out of Office Reply”
Haha, absolutely hilarious. I definitely think number, 10 was by far the funniest of them all though. Still funny to read the others, nice blog by the way.
Thanks guys, I appreciate the Digg:)
“I’ve gone out of my mind. I’ll reply when I return to my senses.”
They’re brilliant… consider you’re suggestions copy-pasted
I like NUMBER 6……………………………….FUNNY
Yeah, that wasn’t a complete waste of my time now, was it?
“Hi
I will be out of the office Friday the 21st of November. If it is an emergency, take a deep breath and try to stay calm.”
Those are classic. I especially like the restart your computer one.
The first two are funny. The rest… aren’t…
at all
They are hilarious .. well done really.
Ok, good stuff right there. Should have used #3 at my old job, and #4 is really how it is most of the time.
Am I missing something? These aren’t funny at all. Not even a slight smile could be given to any of them. They are like Dilbert jokes, but 1000% worse than that. Really really bad. If someone at my work tried any of them I would literally never speak to them again, I’d be like “f*ck off you loser” and that would be the last thing I’ve ever said directly towards them. As the internet would say – “fail”.
Thank you for your time.
Yeah you are missing a good joke, were is your humour? kind of dumb to think these are to be used and not just to be seen as a good joke!